As you’ll know if you’ve been reading my blog over the past six months, I was living almost exclusively on cod and coley until recently. Then I was diagnosed as a diabetic, and I’ve been put on special diabetic cat food that looks and smells not unlike wild boar paté. It’s very nice, and I can’t say that I particularly miss the fish. On the other hand, it was reassuring to know there were six coley portions in the freezer, just in case I needed them.
Note the past tense. Yesterday Martin made a fish pie when Annie’s parents came round for lunch. They only like bland food on account of being bonkers or something, so he used my coley - along with a little smoked haddock, boiled eggs, peas, parsley sauce and mashed potatoes - to create this nursery classic.
I don’t think that was fair. It’s not as if I eat their food. When I was a kitten I used to jump on the dining table for a nibble of this and that, and I still can’t resist stealing crisps on the rare occasions they buy them, but I don’t go into the fridge and consume WHOLE PORTIONS OF HUMAN DINNER. I suppose it doesn’t matter really, as I’m now on the new regime. But they should have asked me, just out of politeness.
Anyway, I went into a sulk and stayed upstairs throughout the visit, along with Chutney, who simply doesn’t like people. However, I was listening to the conversation drifting up from the dining room, and I couldn’t help laughing when, half way through lunch, Annie told her parents they were eating my dinner. They stopped chewing, mid-mouthful, thinking they were eating cat food!
If you’d like to deprive your own cat of his or her fish supper, here’s how to make the pie.
Heat the oven to 220 centigrade. Put 300gms each of fresh or frozen white fish fillets and smoked haddock (try to get the natural, un-died kind) into a dish and just cover with skimmed milk. Add a bay leaf or two. Put the fish in the oven for ten minutes. Meanwhile peel some floury potatoes and put them on to boil. Hard-boil three or four eggs.
Drain the fish and keep the milk. Break up the fish pieces and remove any skin or bone. Put the fish back in the dish with the quartered eggs and a couple of handfuls of frozen peas. Melt a tbs of butter and add a tbs of flour and mix to a paste. Strain the fishy milk into the flour and butter mixture very gradually, mixing as you go, to make a smooth sauce. Let this cook very gently for ten minutes, add a handful of chopped parsley and check for seasoning. Pour the sauce over the fish, eggs and peas in the dish, gently stirring or folding it all together. Mash your potatoes with butter and milk or cream. Spread over the top of the dish and put it into the oven for half an hour. That’s it, though if your dinner guests are not deeply suspicious of flavour, add a few prawns, some paprika or cayenne, or perhaps some black olives.
To truly appreciate this dish, it should be served in a small metal bowl on the kitchen floor and eaten by sticking your head straight in. Wash your whiskers carefully afterwards.
Note the past tense. Yesterday Martin made a fish pie when Annie’s parents came round for lunch. They only like bland food on account of being bonkers or something, so he used my coley - along with a little smoked haddock, boiled eggs, peas, parsley sauce and mashed potatoes - to create this nursery classic.
I don’t think that was fair. It’s not as if I eat their food. When I was a kitten I used to jump on the dining table for a nibble of this and that, and I still can’t resist stealing crisps on the rare occasions they buy them, but I don’t go into the fridge and consume WHOLE PORTIONS OF HUMAN DINNER. I suppose it doesn’t matter really, as I’m now on the new regime. But they should have asked me, just out of politeness.
Anyway, I went into a sulk and stayed upstairs throughout the visit, along with Chutney, who simply doesn’t like people. However, I was listening to the conversation drifting up from the dining room, and I couldn’t help laughing when, half way through lunch, Annie told her parents they were eating my dinner. They stopped chewing, mid-mouthful, thinking they were eating cat food!
If you’d like to deprive your own cat of his or her fish supper, here’s how to make the pie.
Heat the oven to 220 centigrade. Put 300gms each of fresh or frozen white fish fillets and smoked haddock (try to get the natural, un-died kind) into a dish and just cover with skimmed milk. Add a bay leaf or two. Put the fish in the oven for ten minutes. Meanwhile peel some floury potatoes and put them on to boil. Hard-boil three or four eggs.
Drain the fish and keep the milk. Break up the fish pieces and remove any skin or bone. Put the fish back in the dish with the quartered eggs and a couple of handfuls of frozen peas. Melt a tbs of butter and add a tbs of flour and mix to a paste. Strain the fishy milk into the flour and butter mixture very gradually, mixing as you go, to make a smooth sauce. Let this cook very gently for ten minutes, add a handful of chopped parsley and check for seasoning. Pour the sauce over the fish, eggs and peas in the dish, gently stirring or folding it all together. Mash your potatoes with butter and milk or cream. Spread over the top of the dish and put it into the oven for half an hour. That’s it, though if your dinner guests are not deeply suspicious of flavour, add a few prawns, some paprika or cayenne, or perhaps some black olives.
To truly appreciate this dish, it should be served in a small metal bowl on the kitchen floor and eaten by sticking your head straight in. Wash your whiskers carefully afterwards.
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